Are we certain that the current ex-Mr. Kardashian, Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets, and the future* ex-Mr. Kardashian, Twilight’s Taylor Lautner, are not the same person?
* Before this whole “Kim Kardashian – Kanye West” romance, there were legitimate Vegas odds** on who the
succubus reality star would set her fangs sights on next. Blake Griffin was the favorite at 5-to-1, Kanye West was 8-to-1, Reggie Bush and Ryan Reynolds were tied at 10-to-1, Usher was at 12-to-1 and Derek Jeter rounded out the list at 14-to-1 odds. Give me one good reason why Lautner doesn’t belong on that list.
** Also, where the HECK is Mark Sanchez’s name? Huh? A Kardashian – Sanchez relationship (Sandashian? Kardanchez?) makes too much sense NOT to happen. So I’m kicking Vegas to the curb and releasing my own odds here:
Mark Sanchez: 2-to-1
Taylor Lautner: 3-to-1
Blake Griffin: 5-to-1
Any rapper: 7-to-1
Reggie Bush / Ryan Reynolds: 9-to-1
Victor Cruz: 12-to-1
Damon Wayans, Jr: 14-to-1
Damon Wayans, Sr: 17-to-1
Marlon Wayans / Derek Jeter: 20-to-1
Phillip Seymour Hoffman: 40-to-1
Me: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1
**You might be wondering what all of this has to do with a sports blog. One – I need some content. Two – look at the names that
devil woman has been connected to in the past – it’s littered with athletes. Finally, the Kardashian family exerts a lot of control over the world of sports. Kim’s brother sister, Khloe, has single handedly ruined Lamar Odom’s career. But enough jibber jabber. What we need to know is whether Humphries and Lautner are the same person or not. This is important stuff.
One thing I hadn’t considered…
The possibility that both men could actually be…
If you think I’m crazy, then check out a side-by-side of Humphries/Lautner (Humphner? Lautphries?) and an alpaca. You can’t even tell which is which!
How to resolve this?
Kidnap Lautner and Humphries, take them to an alpaca farm, and see if the animals accept the two into their herd. That ought to do it.
Do you think these three look alike? Have another sports doppelganger you’d like to see featured? Let me know at BreakTheHuddle@gmail.com.
Filed under: Doppleganger, NBA | Tagged: alpaca, Damon Wayans, Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries, Mark Sanchez, Marlon Wayans, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Lautner looks like an alpaca, Victor Cruz |