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Random Doppelganger of the Day


@BreakTheHuddle

Are we certain that Rob McElhenney (“Mac” from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”) and Baltimore Orioles shortstop J.J. Hardy are NOT the same person?

Is this the man who had more than 50 extra base hits for the Orioles last year, or the one who gained more than 50 pounds for “comedic effect” on his television show?

Is this J.J. Hardy at a postgame press conference, trying to figure out if he’s allowed to hit on female beat writers? Or is this Rob McElhenney at Comic-con, trying to figure out if his wife came along, so he could hit on female journalists?

Another:

A young J.J. Hardy, trying to weasel out of a paternity suit? Or a young Rob McElhenney, appearing in one of the 8,000,000 episodes of “Law and Order”?

“Mac” making an early career appearance in “The Young and the Restless”? Or Hardy, Bill Hall, Chris Capuano and Jeff Suppan making a completely random appearance in “The Young and the Restless”?

And:

Rob McElhenney: Spreading laughter and joy since 2005…

J.J. Hardy: Spreading syphilis to all major league cities since 2005…

One thing I hadn’t considered…

The possibility that both men…

Are Bert Blyleven’s long-lost sons?!?!?!?

Bert Blyleven was a Hall of Fame pitcher for the Minnesota Twins, Pittsburgh Pirates, Cleveland Indians, California Angels and Texas Rangers from 1970 until 1992. He was nearly as famous for his clubhouse hijinks (lighting teammates shoes on fire, for instance) and practical jokes as he was for his strong, durable arm and wicked curve ball. He was a great athlete AND a great comedian…

Rob McElhenney was born in Philadelphia, PA on April 14th, 1977, putting his time of conception around July or August, 1976. At that time, Bert was playing for the Texas Rangers, having recently come over in a trade from the Twins. Bert was in New York City (which is close enough to Philadelphia for the purposes of this article) in mid-August for a three game series. The following year (perhaps feeling guilty and wishing to be near his bastard son?) Bert forced a trade to the Pittsburgh Pirates… who ALSO PLAY IN PENNSYLVANIA.

Mac has also revealed in interviews that he did not know his father… I’m not saying… I’m just saying.

James Jerry Hardy was born in Tucson, AZ on August 19th, 1982, putting his time of conception around November or December, 1981. Bert Blyleven joined a new team in 1981, and you’ll never guess where they played their Spring Training ball – actually, it should be easy to guess – TUCSON, ARIZONA! Perhaps Bert made a return trip to the desert after the season ended to see his lady friend? In 1985 Bert orchestrated his triumphant return to the Minnesota Twins, ending his Tucson trips, leaving little J.J. no recollection of the ordeal.

Sure, Hardy has a “real father”, who was a “professional tennis player”, but I wonder if mom’s got a dirty little secret she’s never shared with her son… I’m not saying, I’m just… well, yeah, this time I am actually saying it.

And the fact that each man got their big break in 2005 was pure serendipity: Mac began “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, making him a star, and Hardy made his major league debut. Mac got the comedic genes, Hardy got the athletic ones, and both look an awful lot like their real father, though the genetic gods mercifully spared the poor illegitimate boys the “ginger” strand of DNA.

This is what passed for a “ladies man” in the 1970s. It’s a miracle any procreating happened whatsoever.

How to resolve this:

Bert is on Twitter. I am just going to keep asking him until he either confirms or denies these shocking allegations. I will report back.

BreakTheHuddle is a fan of the Twins, Timberwolves and the 13-time World Champion Green Bay Packers. Reach him at BreakTheHuddle@gmail.com, @BreakTheHuddle on Twitter or leave a comment below!

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One Response

  1. haha i really hope you are serious about trying to reach him on twitter, keep us updated

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